Sunday, November 18, 2012

DAMN

DAMN!!!

How long does it take to get over .. pass ... or fully recovery from a divorce??  I get so tired of people asking me when was the last time I heard from my ex-husband.   We don't have kids together so what people think we have regular scheduled phone calls, dates, or LAWD forbid booty calls..  NERP!  

Clearly we had major problems or else we would not be divorced.   One of my aunts asked me if I missed him.  To be honest  I miss certain things but  for the most part  the things I now miss are kind of non specific that comes along with marriage.  I miss being part of a team and working together to build and run our lives.  Mostly the companionship and hearing someone else bumping around in the house. See things are kind of non specific.  That made me kind of sad because what the heck does that say about me??  About my marriage??  Then my aunt asked me did I miss my dog I had to leave behind ( I got Solomon. Ex got Blue).   I had alot to say about him because I missed Blue.  During the divorce I really worried about Blue because He was joined at the hip with me even more than Solomon.  He would wait on me to get home and be on the lookout if I was late coming home.  I was his person and he was my favorite boy.  I was glad to see that he had accepted my ex as his person once we parted ways.  This conversation made me realize that as my marriage was failing my four legged boys had my back.  I became closer to both dogs and the horse.  When I was upset  the dogs fretted over me.  Blue spent many a days curled up in my lap like he was a pocket book dog instead of a 60 lbs boxer lab mix.  Solomon spent his time keeping me company.  Lawd Felix endured me brushing the crap out of his coat. He was the best groomed horse in the barn.  I was able to escape the stresses of my life by flying over jumps on Felix.  I think that is why I had so much to say about the boys  than   ex husband.  Still What does that say about me??